


And Baby Makes Tree

by SloanGreyMercyDeath



Series: December 2020 [4]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Emily is bad at things, F/F, you know?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28334337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SloanGreyMercyDeath/pseuds/SloanGreyMercyDeath
Summary: Day 4: Christmas tree shenanigans
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Series: December 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036989
Comments: 1
Kudos: 44





	And Baby Makes Tree

Emily glared at the Christmas tree that leaned in the corner of the living room. They’d finally finished getting everything set up, managed to get their three houseguests to leave, and go to sleep at a reasonable time. Then, their Christmas tree had fallen over at four AM. The wall caught it, but now it was just leaning and Emily knew that the longer it stayed like that, the more the branches would stay in that position.

JJ wasn’t going to leave the bed until morning, and that meant that it was up to Emily to save the day. She didn’t mind. JJ did so much and Emily was happy to take the more unpleasant tasks. Tasks like a fallen Christmas tree in the middle of the night. She could figure this out and make it stable again. She’d do it for JJ and Henry.

With that determination, she moved the few presents that were already under the tree. The Ambassador had sent a few presents along with her regrets that she wouldn’t be making Christmas dinner. Emily wasn’t upset about that, but she knew that the gifts for Henry would be way too expensive and that would upset her.

She put them onto the coffee table and turned back to the tree. Appraising her opponent, she tried to see _why_ it was leaning. The base was covered by a large tree skirt and Emily couldn’t see if anything was wrong.

Rolling her eyes, she squatted in front of the tree, looking for the buttons that held the skirt on. Finding them, she shifted onto her knees and opened the skirt with deft fingers. A sharp tug pulled the skirt away and Emily threw it aside with a triumphant (but quiet) cheer. Putting her hands on the floor, she stuck her head under the tree to see if the base had cracked or the trunk was broken.

There was nothing visibly wrong with the tree and the base, but she could see that the whole thing had fallen over. Water had spilled from the base onto the wooden floor. Emily didn’t know much about home maintenance, but she knew that water could ruin a hardwood floor. 

With an annoyed grunt, she climbed back onto her feet and went to the kitchen. When she’d come downstairs, she thought this would only take a moment or so, but it was turning into a multi-step process. Unfortunately, JJ had woken up when she got out of bed to investigate the crash, so if Emily climbed back into bed and left water on the floor and the tree tilted, she’d get an earful.

She just grabbed a dishtowel off the handle of the oven and stomped back to the tree. Dropping to the floor again, she wiped up the water, wincing at how sticky it was from tree sap. She had to reach fairly far back into the corner to get all the water up, laying on her stomach to push the towel where it needed to go.

Once she was sure that the floor was dry, she army-crawled backward to get out from under the tree. When she thought she was free, she tried to lift her head, but it hit the lowest branches, the pine needles stabbing her scalp. Cursing quietly, she let her head fall to the floor, counting to ten before resuming her crawl.

She moved backward until her foot hit the leg of the coffee table. Slowly, she lifted her head, sighing with relief when her upward motion was uninterrupted. Emily stood fully, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at the tree, thoroughly over this whole exercise.

“Alright,” she muttered to the tree, “I cleaned up your mess. Now, you’re going to balance upright and _not_ fall over again. Agreed?”

Satisfied that the tree wasn’t going to fight back, she reached out and wrapped her hands around the trunk. Counting to three, she hauled it upright. She kept her hands on it for a moment, testing to see if it was going to stay up. After a moment without movement, she pulled her hands away.

Taking a step back, she slipped on the wet dishtowel, losing her balance and landing heavily on her ass. The thud must have shaken the floor because the tree began to wobble again. Emily watched fearfully as it fell toward her. Closing her eyes, she held her arms up over her face to protect it.

A moment passed and nothing hit her. Lowering her arms and blinking in surprise, she saw the tree frozen above her. Tilting her head back, she saw JJ looming above her, hands keeping the tree from hitting her.

“Babe,” JJ mumbled, clearly still half-asleep, “what are you doing?”

“The tree fell,” Emily answered as a dark blush colored her pale cheeks. “I fixed it.”

JJ raised an eyebrow. “Did you, though?”

Moving out of the way, Emily snatched up the dishtowel, presenting it as evidence. “I did. I just fell and...knocked it over again?”

“Jesus,” her wife muttered. She lifted the tree again putting it back in place. “You were gone for 30 minutes. I was worried. I’m glad I came down.”

“Aw, I’m sorry, Jayje. I didn’t think it’d take that long.”

JJ rolled her eyes, turning back to Emily. “It couldn’t have waited until morning?” She rubbed her fists in her eyes. “It’s the middle of the night.”

Emily’s shoulders slumped with embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” she apologized quietly. “I didn’t want the branches to get messed up. I’m sorry that I fucked it up.”

She sighed and reached for the tree skirt so she could put it up, but strong arms wrapped around her waist. JJ pulled her back into her, resting her chin on Emily’s shoulder. Sleepily, she kissed Emily’s neck.

“I’m sorry I’m grumpy,” JJ said softly. “I just woke up and you were gone and then you almost got smashed with a Christmas tree. You didn’t fuck it up. You tried your best, baby.”

Emily turned around, hugging JJ’s shoulders and touching their foreheads together. “I’m sorry for scaring you. Thank you for saving me.”

“Imagine,” JJ chuckled, “if you survived Doyle and then died because of a Christmas tree?”

“Ew.” Emily wrinkled her nose at the thought. “No, thank you.”

They kissed quickly, and then JJ took Emily’s hand, pulling her toward the stairs. “Do the rest in the morning. I need you to cuddle me back to sleep.”

“Ooh, a task I can’t fuck up.”

“Oh, shut up,” JJ laughed, turning to walk backward up the stairs. “You don’t fuck things up.”

Emily shrugged. “Yeah, I know. I just feel bad that I can’t cook and I’m not much help around the house. I can try harder.”

“Wait, Emily…” JJ stopped a couple steps below the second floor, frowning down at her wife. “Do you really think you’re not helpful?”

“I mean, I don’t know.” Emily’s throat tightened as she sensed an emotional conversation brewing. “It’s not a big deal. Let’s go to bed.”

JJ put her hands on Emily’s shoulders to hold her in place. She had only been teasing, but now she could tell that it had made Emily upset. The whole team joked about Emily messing up simple tasks, but that’s all it was - a joke.

“It’s a big deal if it makes you upset,” JJ told her. “I don’t think you’re useless or bad at doing things, Emily. You’re so helpful. You do all of our paperwork, the shopping, most of the cleaning. You’re so good about making sure we follow Henry’s schedule and you bathe him every night. I mean, I think you do more than I do. I cook and I feed Henry, but, babe, you do almost everything else.”

Emily blinked up at the ceiling, keeping herself together. “I just know that I don’t have a lot of basic life experiences and I’m doing my best to learn. I wish it wasn’t taking me so long.”

“Alright,” JJ sighed, scratching her forehead, “I’m going to tell the team to stop making jokes about this. You’re not useless, you’re so helpful, and I don’t want you thinking otherwise. You’ve saved my life so many times, and I don’t just mean at work. Ok?”

“Ok.” Emily lifted herself up onto her toes and pressed a kiss to JJ’s lips. “Thank you.”

“I love you,” JJ sighed against Emily’s mouth. “Forever.”

“Right back at you,” Emily joked. “Happy December 4th, JJ.”

“Happy 21 days until Christmas, Emily.”


End file.
